I am not ready for love. But I am ready for fun. and for friends, and when I least expect it...that when it always seems to strike.
August 1, 2011
July 11, 2011
We push overselves over the edge, back into the pain. We push because we want to feel, we want the familiarity and we want to know we're still who we were. The hurt keeps us together, it reminds of what we had in that foreign moment and what could have been. The luring comfort of my pain is what takes us under. We could easily cast it out, and busy our minds with other pleasantries, yet we want the heartache. We want the real. We want to know we truly felt something even if it wouldn't last the year. It could never last the year... The pain marks us, because at least we can pin point a time in which we had something dear enough to scar, to cause hurt, and to leave us different than before.
You left me different than before. You loved me. And I did you. it was silly to think overwise. Not saying our love should have lasted longer, oh darling it ran its course, but the air of it all, of our life, was still heavy with our tensions and with our heat. We'll both find another, but you will always be my first, and w
March 12, 2011
We're done for good.
I thought this would be the best for the both for us, and I think maybe it is. but Its hard. i feel like I'll never be loved again. I know its silly and I know I shouldnt think this way, but the thoughts and the aching is still there.I pray it will go away and I'll learn to be content with myself, not needing the resurance.
Buts more than that too. I lost my best friend. That's honestly the hardest part. I lost a person that cared about me and wanted the best for me, and was my own personal cheerleader. and understood me.
We're both hurting. I hope he understands I only wanted the best for the both of us.
Love sucks
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